How Many?

I had this question in my head while I was on the road and on the way to the office recently. I was listening to a love song that just made me think of that question: out of all the relationships you’ve had, how many can you say that you have really, truly loved?

That seems cruel to ask. Of course we would like to be polite and say that we all loved each and every person we had a relationship with and that things just didn’t work out. But let’s be real here…we didn’t really love ALL of them right?

Maybe I’m insensitive but looking back, I have discovered that I can’t say that I loved every guy I had a relationship with – not that they were that many, in case you were asking. I think that if we think about it, the people we’ve had relationships with fall into certain categories:

Puppy Love – the boy/girlfriend when you were too young to know what love actually was about.

The Hot One – A cute guy or girl was interested and it was flattering, but you soon realized love and relationships can’t survive on looks and the initial excitement alone.

The Bad Boy/Bad Girl – Let’s face it, there’s an excitement to it, but they don’t last because love isn’t about the fantasy of changing someone, we should love by accepting people as they already are.

Sexual Attraction - Hey, I'm 34, I'm allowed to talk about this. This happens, let's not even deny it.

Just Because – Remember the time when everyone had a relationship and you didn’t? And someone just happened to be interested and you decided to settle? Yeah, I’m sure you know what I mean.

The Real Deal – that person who really made you feel and understand what love and relationships were and should be about.


Of all the relationships that I’ve had, I feel that there was only one person who I really, truly loved. But that’s all water under the bridge and we’ve both moved on, so don’t get any ideas that I still have a torch for the guy.

I wish I could say that every guy I’ve been in a relationship with was the real deal or that there was only one but that’s all been said and done – I have no regrets. I’ve learned from my mistakes and I have moved on. I just hope that the next guy I have a relationship with will be my last and that he’ll be the real deal and the one who is for keeps.

What about you? How many in your past can you say was the real deal?