MBA (My Big Aversion)

These days, the term MBA has been ringing in my ears like crazy and in a way that is even worse than having LSS.

For the past ten years I have been working as an Administrative Officer for a water utility company. I have been doing this job because it is the most convenient thing to do – it’s close to home, cost of living in this rural environment is very low compared to working in the city and it is a job that pays the bills. I have had several offers in the past few years but I have opted to stick to this one because, as a friend told me, I am hesitant to leave my comfort zone. I think that hesitation has finally reached its breaking point.

A promotion is in the air. I could either go up one spot on the work ladder or actually skip a spot and get the top honcho position. I don’t know if I want either of the two.

I know it sounds crazy for me to complain about how things have stayed the same for me for the past decade and now complain just because things are changing but not in the way that I would have wanted but I can’t help it. If I go up one spot, my superior takes the top post. I could play it safe as her assistant but I know it will not be easy since we clash a lot about the way we do our thing at the office. If I skip and become top honcho over her, it would be incredibly awkward to move past her and I’m sure the clashing of ideas would be far worse because I went up over her. Plus, getting the top spot would mean that I am required to take my MBA, something I have NEVER wanted to do. I never wanted it but sadly enough, I just might need it.

Here’s the thing: I took my business course because it’s something my parents wanted me to do. I’ve always considered myself to be a creative soul and so my degree of choice was in Liberal Arts. I compromised with the parents by taking BOTH Liberal Arts and a business course that had a creative side (Marketing). I ended up in the career path I’m in because I can do the job well – but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s what I am passionate about or what I’d really want to do for the rest of my life.

To be honest, I’d rather take my Master’s Degree in something more on the Liberal Arts side and not in Business. I know I’d do well because it’s something I’m interested in and passionate about. I don’t know how well I’d fare with the MBA thing since I only do this business thing to pay the bills.

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for this job because it has given me the opportunity to travel, get to know so many great people and have experiences I never thought I'd have.  It has helped me support myself and my family these past ten years. I just don't feel that it is the best thing for me to do for the rest of my life. To be fair, I have looked into the whole MBA options thing online and more than anything, it reaffirmed my lack of interest in the whole thing because as I was reading it I just wasn't excited about it.  It felt like something I HAD to do not something I WANTED.  That is a very telling sign in my opinion.

I’ve been seriously thinking of looking into other options like moving to another country to work or quitting this job (because of that MBA thing and the complications the promotion has between me and my superior) and taking the other work opportunity that is currently being offered to me. The words resign and quit, along with the term MBA have been in my head for days…I think I need to take some time off to think about this and toss my thoughts around with my friends and see what that can do.

I’ve always wanted to quit and be a writer. I’m just not sure if that would pay the bills. If there’s one thing I’m passionate about it’s that. If I didn’t have a family that depends on me for some semblance of financial stability I would quit and be a starving artist (of sorts). I wish I could quit and start with the business I’ve always wanted to work on. I wish the decision could be easy but it’s not.

I said this once before and I’ll say it again (and again, and again, and again…): I don’t know where I will be by 2012. I just hope it will be the right place for me.